Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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