Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
