I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize