It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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