my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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