ya dads aren't the best wingmen
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize