Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
