just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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