You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
