Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
