i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
