It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
high people should be assigned attendants
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
