Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
