i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
