WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
