his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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