His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
