she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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