I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
