"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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