Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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