his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
