If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
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