I have demons in me.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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