and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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