if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just pynch a tree in the face
Screwed.edu
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Your dad touched me again.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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