i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
