we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
