i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
