She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
