I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
