dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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