I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
