mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
