I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
