I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
