STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
