do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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