he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
