dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
