I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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