I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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