it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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