sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
