So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize