i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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