I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
