I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I should be sponsored by Trojan
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
