can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
