I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
