She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
