He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
