did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
