She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
