Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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