What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
