Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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