My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Why is your signature on my underwear?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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