my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
