More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i just had sex bonerless
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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