I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
