possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
