I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
